At one point when I was in the 2nd grade, after my mom's suicide attempt, the social workers were considering taking me away because my mom was suspected of sexually abusing me (hehe)…
so it was conveyed to me that displaying signs of emotional distress could result in me being taken away from my mommy which seemed like a fate worse than death back when I didn't know any better.
Can people on this forum confirm these experiences as being their environment as a child? Emotional invalidation is when someone communicates to you that your emotions are not valid, are unreasonable or irrational, or should be hidden or concealed.
For example, when a child is fearful, their parent might tell them, “Stop being such a baby, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” This is an emotionally invalidating response; it not only communicates to the child that their emotions are invalid but also that they are weak for having emotions...... D., the clinical psychologist who developed Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) has proposed that an “emotionally invalidating environment,” or an environment in which one’s emotional responses are consistently invalidated or punished, may interact with other factors to cause BPD. Linehan’s model, children at risk of developing BPD later in life are born with a biological predisposition toward strong emotional responses.
Unfortunately, discouraging a child’s emotional responses, particularly if that child is temperamentally predisposed to have strong emotions, probably does not work to calm the child.
Instead, it likely has the opposite effect —- the child’s emotional response is heightened, leading to an intensification of the emotion.
Now, I'm studying to be a therapist, and I have the strong belief that exposure does not help with social anxiety, but rather worsens it in individuals with the actual disorder. I was constantly put down that my beliefs and irrational fears weren't that big of a deal, even though they were destroying any element of sanity I had.
The other kids were doing stuff in the kitchen and I was trying to set the table map but each time I got it just right the wind would blow it off…I also learned at an early age that being sensitive and crying easily only invoked sadistic urges in other children and I was abused a lot because of that throughout all my school years…by the first grade I already learned how to not cry while getting beaten up by other kids and how to push off crying until I was safely away from them.Thanks, Steve I don't remember the invalidation itself but as far back as I can remember it was always clear to me that if I had a problem or if something upset me that there was no point in going to mommy for it…it would just upset her and I felt she had enough on her plate without having my problems as an extra "burden".